Confusion

[Hawkeman92]

I'm confused. Why does it hurt? I know I am an awful person. I know I am a horrible person so why does it hurt?

I've done so many selfish things. I act out of greed and never help anyone so why do I feel bad when no one helps me. How can I be stung by loneliness when I'm so numb? Is this loneliness I'm feeling or something else?

I'm so confused. I don't know what it is I am feeling. I only know that it is cold. Could I be unknowingly trying to convince myself that I am a good person by being hurt by this. Am I so selfish that despite how horrid I am, that I would still play the victim. Why can I not stop myself despite feeling this. Why am I such a horrible person?

It makes no sense. I hurts but if it is an act then why don't I simply stop. Why do I keep up the act like I am successfully fooling someone into thinking that I'm pitiful. Why won't I stop?

It's so confusing. I'm so confused.